Meditation 101 - For Beginners

I’ve taught meditation to both kids and adults for many years. Among the various types of wellness courses I teach, meditation is my favourite.

There are many different reasons that teaching meditation classes are what I find the most enjoyable. Yes, the benefits are endless - but, for me it’s the expressions on their faces, the change in their body language, the shift in energy and the smile on their face. All the worries and fears that they were holding in their body melt away and they feel free. For me, this is the greatest sight in the world!

Meditation is not a heavy word as some may think! Meditation is light; it allows children to explore their imaginations, be creative, and feel secure. Security is feeling good about one’s self and feeling secure from within. This sense of security can be gained through meditation.

Kids are not skeptical; they are open to the experience whatever that may entail for them. They enjoy the journey diving into their imagination. By nature, kids are imaginative and creative. It’s society that tends to take that away. How many of us tell them they are silly for having imaginary friends?

Through play, children acquire life skills and learn best. Through meditation, they learn about themselves. We seem to teach kids about everything; except themselves. This is what meditation does. It helps them to understand their emotions and feelings, and communicate them in a healthy way.

Our feelings are messengers; they aren’t random. They are there to speak to us and tell us what we need. This is why meditation is so valuable. The goal of meditation is not to get rid of thoughts and feelings, but to work through them so you don’t get stuck.

I believe that being human is not about feeling happy all the time – it’s about feeling everything. We must feel it all to heal and be happy. Meditation helps us to understand why we are feeling a particular way; it creates space so the answers can come.

I’ve taught many types of meditation to kids and adults. What I’ve found with children is that they respond best to creative visualizations. It allows them to light up their senses and explore their imaginations. Our senses play an important role in meditation. During meditation, our senses light up and explode. This sensory awakening activates compassion and happiness, which leads to focus and confidence. In my opinion, this helps children thrive socially, academically, and physically.

The other important benefit kids gain through meditation is self-awareness. Meditation helps children become more deeply aware of who they are. With meditation, kids better understand their feelings, learn their needs and realize their own potential.

I’ve had much feedback from parent, teachers, and therapists. Teachers who incorporate meditation into their daily routine report that their classroom environment is much calmer and peaceful. Therapists say meditation reduces test anxiety, builds positive peer relationships, and enhances anger management skills. The most frequent comment I hear from parents is that meditation helps transition kids into a peaceful night’s sleep. It definitely makes the bedtime routine go a lot smoother!

Lastly, our kids are constantly bombarded with sights and sounds, and all that frantic energy must be counterbalanced with stillness.

The benefits of meditation are endless! I’ve mentioned just a few here. The key is consistency and making it a part of their daily routine. I love that this is something you and your child can do together. Not only will you both benefit but it opens the doors to communication and builds connection.

The best part of meditation is it can be done any time, anywhere, a classroom, swing, park or at bedtime! I find meditation to be a great tool for kids to do in the back seat on those long drives. Just make sure the driver doesn’t participate!

Until next time…

February 4th – World Cancer Day

I just happen to be writing this blog on February 4th, which is World Cancer Day. Therefore, I would like to do my part by making this the focus of this week’s blog.

World Cancer Day is meant to raise awareness of cancer and to encourage its prevention, detection, and treatment. The World Health Organization says, “one in five people will at some point be diagnosed with cancer.” With that being said, I think it’s so important to raise awareness and take action to change the future of cancer forever.

How can we make a difference?

As a cancer survivor, I can’t stress enough the importance of screening and early detection. We must be diligent about our yearly checkups, mammograms, and advocate for ourselves. If they tell you that it will be 6 weeks before your biopsy and you feel it needs to be treated with greater urgency, then call every day, harass - do whatever you need to do to get in sooner (health professionals are going to love me!)

I say this because this is what I did, and thank God I did or there is a pretty good chance I wouldn’t be here today. When I was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer (more specifically Hurthle cell carcinoma - a rare, aggressive form) I had absolutely no symptoms and felt perfectly normal. My doctor found it on my routine physical. I share this because many doctors don’t check your thyroid at a routine physical. If mine had not been detected it would have spread throughout my body in a manner of months. Yes, I love my doctor! I encourage all of you to please ask your doctor to check your thyroid if they don’t already.

I now do my part in educating the public as this is another way in which we can make a difference - be a cancer advocate. Stand up for the cause, share your experience, support those living with cancer, and help to raise awareness.

We can also help by raising money for cancer awareness. I used to canvas every April, going door to door asking for donations. Little did I know at the time that I would become a statistic. There are many fundraisers out where you walk or run that you can participate in. I also am aware that there are certain products we can buy from specific sources that donate a percentage of profit to cancer causes. Of course, we can always donate directly to specific cancer groups. All the little things we do can help to make a difference.

Lastly, volunteering at your local cancer clinic can make such a difference to those going through this alone. You could sit with patients while they’re having chemo treatment, read to them, share stories, and get them what they need. I was one of the lucky ones who had support and someone to be there with me. I’m so grateful for that! I can’t imagine if I had to go through it alone with no family nearby. Volunteers are amazing souls.

The reality is that if not us, somebody we love will be affected by cancer throughout our lifetime. Personally, I have had close family members and special friends affected by the disease. Radiation, chemotherapy, and isolation are quite challenging to say the least. Let’s all help to raise awareness. We must all work together to fight this disease and hopefully, one day, find a cure.

Until next time…

Are you feeling it?

Oh, what a feeling!! I’m dancing on the ceiling! Not quite. How is everyone feeling? It feels like we’ve been in this deep freeze for months! Surviving that and January feels like an impossible task. I’m someone who is susceptible to the winter blues. It usually hits around this time of the year.

I’ve often wondered why some of us have the moon cycles, changes in weather, or time of year affect our moods while others just float through life without any inclination. When it comes to seasonal anxiety disorder, we know that sunshine is crucial for maintaining normal serotonin levels. But why are some of us more prone to mood changes than others?

It is long believed that moon cycle can affect ones mood. I’ve experienced this firsthand. My sleep is affected, and I usually experience the “blues” during this time. Working in the school system for over 20 years, I’ve also witnessed how the days leading up to the full moon affects the kids. Oh, it’s a lot of fun during this time, just ask any teacher! There’s also evidence that supports that emergency room visits are much higher on the eve of a full moon.

For me, as one of the lucky ones who suffers, I’ve just learned to accept that this is a part of who I am. If I feel myself in a funk, then I check and see where the moon is at, and it usually makes sense. If it’s January, hellishly cold and I’m feeling down, well then I ride the wave knowing this too shall pass. I had to stop judging and criticizing myself for being overly sensitive to… well, mostly everything. I’ve now accepted that this is who I am and have found that once you can find acceptance of yourself it can be quite healing! And honestly, in most situations, sensitivity is my superpower!

The other thing that has really helped me is being mindful of my thoughts. I do little check-ins throughout the day. If I start feeling stressed, worried, overwhelmed or down, I pay attention to what it is I was just thinking about. Then I take a few deep breaths and follow up with an affirmation. Seriously - and I can not stress this enough - the power of our thoughts impact our behavior. For example, if we wake up thinking we’re going to have a bad day because it’s a full moon… then the chances are you’re going to have a bad day. Our thoughts impact our actions.

If you’re feeling down in the dumps and you’ve been there awhile, just remember negative self-talk will dig you a deeper hole. We must work on maintaining a positive mindset and keeping our thoughts optimistic and upbeat. Be conscious of your thoughts and where they are headed. I read this quote once and it’s stuck with me. “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

As I’m finishing up my blog this week, the sun is rising and it’s a magical sight. The way the pink and orange are dancing through the sky, it’s as if they’re daring me to join them! The deep freeze has finally lifted, and might even dare I say, so has my mood!

Until next time…stay positive!

Strategies for Your Best Year Yet

As we enter into the New Year, I’m sure some of us would love to experience more balance, less stress, more joy, less worry, and overall have a greater sense of peace in our lives. Life is full of challenges, heartache, joy, and happiness. The key is to have strategies that we can implement into our daily routine that helps us to manage our worries and fears, process our emotions, and find greater balance and joy.

I’ve practiced these strategies for years and they have helped me through many hardships in my life, particularly health related. My stress levels have decreased, I experience less worry, find joy in the little moments and am generally a much happier person. They take no time at all and are easy to incorporate into your routine. You may want to start with a couple of these techniques and work your way up. The important thing is that you start today - it’s so worth it!

1)      Start the day with love!

-          Affirm before your feet hit the floor, “Today’s going to be a good day!”

-          State 5 things you are grateful for.

-          Take a little time to write in your journal. Throw all your worries and concerns onto the page. The day tends to run a lot smoother when we do this.

2)      Practice affirmations throughout the day. Affirmations are crucial for developing self-love. Whenever you go to the washroom you can look in the mirror and recite them silently or out loud.

-          I am enough.

-          I love and approve of myself.

-          I am safe.

-          The universe has my back.

-          I am strong and brave.

3)      Build self-esteem by practicing “mindful moments” throughout the day. This helps us to become aware of our thoughts. Sometimes we are not even conscious of the negative things we tell ourselves daily. We can change negative thoughts through awareness and centering.

-          Breathe in through your nose for the count of 3, hold for 1, and exhale for 3 through your mouth. On the exhale repeat silently “release the muscles in my jaw, neck, and shoulders. Repeat 5 times.

-          Follow this up with an affirmation.

-          Happy thoughts, happy life.

4)      Practice gratitude all day long. This helps to develop a positive mind-set. It’s impossible to be grateful and angry at the same time, honestly!

-          Being grateful helps us to focus on what we have, instead of what we don’t have. We tend to focus on what’s missing in our lives and not see all that’s there.

5)      End the day with “joy moments.”

-          Ask yourself, “What went well today?” This could be as simple as you getting out of bed and brushing your teeth. We are all on different journeys - celebrate the little things!

-          Fall asleep thinking of the happy moments. This could be as simple as a hug from your child, a snuggle with your fur baby, or a smooth commute to work. This will help you transition into a peaceful night’s sleep by not falling asleep worrying.

 It only takes small, little changes to improve the quality of your life. There is no quick fix that most of us seek. We must do the work to feel the benefits. Trust me, as a previous constant worrier and someone who frequently experienced anxiety, it’s so worth it because what’s on the other side is freeing!

Until next time…Happy new Year

Abundance is a State of Mind

When I speak of abundance, I’m not referring to cash, material possessions, or a large quantity of anything superficial. I’m speaking of an abundance of positive qualities that lead us to living an abundant life such as “an abundance of love.”

I think it’s safe to say that material possessions come and go. We can’t think of abundance in that way. Instead, we must think of living an abundant life by focusing on being grateful for the blessings in our lives, rather than focusing on what is lacking or has been taken away. If we do this, our life will always be rich, filled with love, and abundance. Nobody can take that away.

I’ve lived a large part of my life measuring my own self-worth by the things I had - the money in the bank, the titles I carried, or comparing myself to others. By doing this, I never truly felt good enough. Now, I choose to see the riches in my life, and there are many. Health, family, friends, children, being able to stay at home to write, and a loving, supportive husband are just a few of these. 

It is really up to us to develop an abundant mindset. It just requires small changes and simple practices that will help us reframe our thinking.

1. Celebrate other people’s wins and throw jealousy out the window. There is plenty of abundance out there for all of us. When we are jealous of others, it lowers our energy and our ability to manifest all that the universe has to offer. 

2. Focus on gratitude. When we remember all that we do have, rather than what we don’t have, we are focusing our attention on the abundance that already exists. Which then, will attract more into your life.

3. Giving to others straight from the heart is a practice of abundance. It reminds us that we have enough to share. This helps to change our mindset by getting rid of the scarcity mentality.

4. Focus on the blessings in your life. This will take work and it’s not easy - social media does not help with this. It’s in our nature to desire material things and be envious of others. But, if you work on it, it will start to come naturally.

5. Remind yourself that you may not be rich or perfect, but you are richer than you think! What gifts do you have? What blessings do you have? Writing these answers in a journal and returning to it daily will help to develop an abundant mindset.

With Christmas around the corner, it’s the perfect time to practice these skills. I know many don’t feel that way because we’re focused on not having enough money. Instead, what if you focus on the love that’s right in front of you. Examples include loved ones travelling to see you and taking time out of their busy lives  to spend Christmas with you. It’s not about the quantity of gifts, or the amount of food. It’s the abundance of love!

I believe that everything we have on Earth is just an external representation of how rich you feel within. You can never be rich - if you feel poor, it's time to feel rich again.

Abundance is a state of mind. Give thanks for the places, people, blessings, and gifts in your life, and let your soul feel rich.

Here is a great affirmation to get you started, “My world is a reflection of my inner riches and it’s full of abundance.”

Until next time…

Raise your Vibration!

The word on the street has been that quite a few of us are struggling with low energy. I’ve noticed this both intuitively and through discussion with others. Today is one of those low energy days for me. I think some of the factors contributing to this is the time of year, snow, cooler temperatures, prices rising, as well as the current affairs happening in the world. Between school shootings and countries that are currently experiencing conflict, it’s difficult to remain positive and upbeat.

When I’m experiencing a low vibration I sit with it, meditate on it, and try and find out where it’s coming from. Sometimes I figure it out and do what I can to raise my energy, and other times I’m not quite sure what the issue is so I ride the wave with the knowledge that this too shall pass. I feel the most important thing we can do is feel these emotions and be aware of what they’re trying to tell you - this is how we heal and move on. This can be quite challenging, but it’s much healthier than burying our feelings or numbing them with a substance.

Although it’s impossible to feel vibrant all the time, there are strategies we can implement that help us to create higher vibrational energy and think positive thoughts. So, how can we raise our vibration and frequency?

First, meditation and breathwork. A little 5-minute meditation in the morning is the best way to start your day on a positive note. It raises your vibration, reduces stress, and promotes relaxation. With continued practice you’ll notice longer-lasting, happy energy and you’ll start to see the world in a more positive light.

Connecting with nature is a sure-fire way to raise our vibration. Nature provides us with so many opportunities in which we can improve our mood, ground ourselves, and release tension. The outdoor activities that we can partake in our endless. Get out there and walk, run, swim, bike, do yoga, or sit under a tree reading a good book if you’re needing an energy boost!

Cultivate high-vibe relationships. It’s very important that we surround ourselves with people who lift us up rather than drag us down. It may be time to “clean house” and eliminate any toxic relationships. Don’t ignore your own needs to give more to others. Saying no to others and doing what you want can increase your mood greatly.

Music and dancing are a couple of my favourite ways to raise my vibration. Throw on some of your favourite tunes and dance it out in the living room! When we do this, we can express emotions and it’s a wonderful distraction from our negative thoughts.

Yoga is a wonderful activity to shift our energy. We’re able to clear out stagnant energy and clear our chakras. The more we move, the more our energy vibrates. If you’re feeling low, try a flowing class like vinyasa. If you can’t make it to a class, try a child’s pose posture. This really helps to raise my mood when I’m exhausted.

If you can find Sound Bath sessions in your area that utilize gongs and sound bowls, I encourage you to go try it out. These sounds are shown to facilitate a shift in our brainwave that makes us feel more relaxed and open. When you’re there, you may meet a new friend who vibrates on your frequency level. These types of activities usually attract high vibrational people in my experience.

Crystals are quite helpful for boosting our positive energy and vibrations. They have been used for thousands of years.  Place them around your home or carry them in your pockets or bag. Look for healing stones that represent love and connection, such as rose quartz or amethyst.

Engage in acts that raise our vibration, such as practicing gratitude, showing kindness to others, and showing compassion. Just think how good you feel when you help another. It instantly puts us in a high vibrational state! Each night before you fall asleep make a mental note of things you are grateful for. It means you end the day on a positive note remembering all that you have rather than what you don’t have.

Finally, although these are safe, effective ways to raise your vibration it’s important to be mindful of when your low mood or energy isn’t lifting. Seek out professional support if this feeling persists.

Until next time…shake that booty!

Daunting November

Hello November! Are people actually excited for this month? I mean, I know we should be grateful for each day we get to live, but still…the cold and snow are daunting for many. I know that some of you out there enjoy winter outdoor activities and are looking forward to the snow. I guess I’ll be excited for you! Find the positive Wendy!

Winter use to be ok for me because I could hibernate in my house, go into a writing cocoon, and emerge transformed once spring arrived. Now, however, it’s quite different. I must go outside because I have a puppy that needs to be walked four times a day. Turns out, he absolutely loves the snow and cooler temperatures. “Get a dog they said, it’ll be fun they said.” (Honestly, he’s the best dog ever!)

I will say, his enthusiasm and watching him play in the snow brings me joy. I dare even say, he has changed my perspective about snow just a little. Like Wayne Dyer always said, “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

I believe this to be true with everything in life. Changing our perspective allows us to grow, broadens our frame of mind, and gives us a new way of seeing things. Altering our perspective allows us to be less self-centered and move to a more compassionate understanding of others and the world around us. Let’s all try to look at something this week through a new lens.

So let’s give this a try. How can I change how I’ve felt about November my whole life? This month also comes with the time change - no sleep for this gal!

Here we go:

November is not December; therefore, we’re not spending as much money on Christmas.

November has only 30 days, better than 31.

November is the month we celebrate our Veterans, and they definitely should be remembered.

November allows me to pull out my sweaters and I have some pretty pink ones!

I can turn the bedroom fan off in November, so nighttime will be quieter – except, I still need it for my night sweats… so never mind!

Once the snow arrives my floor won’t have little muddy paw prints everywhere.

I have a dentist appointment this month, that’s something to look forward to! Ha

As you can see, I struggled with finding the good in November. Haha. But, I do feel better about her after writing this silly list. November and I have had a rocky relationship for as long as I can remember. So, baby steps equal success.

As a lifelong learner I enjoy seeing things from other perspectives. To grow and evolve as humans, we must respect other people’s choices and beliefs - and be able to empathize. Next time someone’s perspective may be different from yours, hear them out. You may just learn something new!

Until next time…

Self-Regulation Strategies for Kids

Many kids suffer from chronic worrying and feelings of sadness. They think about the hurts of the past or worry about future events. We all want our children to be happy, but they worry about things and experience the full range of emotions as we do. Therefore, our job is to give them the tools needed to help them self-regulate and live a peaceful life. 

In my experience with my kids and students at school, I’ve found mindfulness extremely effective in this area. There are various mindfulness tools that I’ve used that help portal kids to the present moment, and this is where we experience the least amount of stress. 

First, Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment experience for whatever it is. This entails our thoughts and feelings, not just our surroundings. We want to feel what we’re feeling and pay attention to what we think. 

Breathing exercises are key tools used to relieve worry through present-moment awareness. When we breathe consciously, we regain control of our thoughts and are brought to the present moment. Another term for deep breathing that kids can relate to is belly breathing. Have them place their hands on their belly. Then, get them to breathe in slowly through their nose, fill their lungs up to the top, and imagine their stomach, abdomen, and chest expanding like a giant balloon. On the exhale, they open their mouth and slowly blow all the air back out, letting their belly sink down flat as if deflating the imaginary balloon. Repeat, but the next time, they do it with their mouth closed, breathing in and out through the nose as they feel their belly expanding and shrinking.

Practicing gratitude as a family is an easy way to practice being mindful. Just a couple minutes of being grateful can take us out of our worries and fears and help us to feel better. The big feelings or worried thoughts seem to lose power, and we are taken to the present moment. We can go around the dinner table and have each family member say three things they are grateful for. If kids have difficulty sharing, you can buy them a gratitude journal in which they can write their three things. It can also become a part of their bedtime routine.

Focusing on our five senses is another way to be mindful. It reminds us to open our senses to whatever we are doing right now. When we do this, the past and future thoughts disappear, and we are right here, in this moment. My favourite way to do this is in nature. We can listen to the birds, water tumbling over a stone, the sound of the wind. Pay attention to the beads of dew on grass, the texture of bark on a tree, and the shape and pattern of veins on leaves. Observe the squirrels, deer, or birds in the trees. Use your sense of touch. We can touch the grass, feel the soft silk of flower petals, and run our palms over tree bark. The opportunities to practice mindfulness in nature are endless.

A mindfulness jar is another excellent tool. Fill up a jar with water and colourful sparkles, let the child choose their colors. Have them shake the jar. The sparkles in the jar represent their thoughts. As they are watching the sparkles settle to the bottom it brings them to the present moment and as the sparkles settle, so do their thoughts. Just sitting quietly and watching until the sparkles settle to the bottom will bring them back to the present moment, and this moment, right now, feels good.

Lastly, practicing mindfulness through meditation is the best strategy of all. Meditation brings us to the present moment and has so many other amazing benefits. I have free audio meditations available at www.wendydemer.com 

Kids model our behaviour and learn best through observation, so let them witness us practicing belly breaths, sitting silently in meditation, reciting gratitude, and opening our senses. 

Until next time…peace and love coming at you!

Cultivating Empathy in Kids

I was reading something the other day that said empathy is not innate. It’s not something we are born with but rather something that is learned; therefore, it must be taught. I believe some of us are naturally inclined to be more empathetic; that’s what I’ve witnessed working with kids over the years. But, is this because their parents taught them this skill? Or is it a matter of nature?

Whatever the reason is - whether it’s nature or nurture - I think empathy is a quality that most parents and caregivers want their children to have. So, how can we help kids learn this skill?

First, empathy is the ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes. We want to show them that we genuinely care and want to share their feelings. 

Second, there are many benefits from kids developing empathy. It helps kids form healthy relationships and build social connections through compassion and kindness. It allows kids to feel good about themselves, knowing they helped someone. Our child’s mental and emotional well-being is elevated when they build connections with others through kindness.  Kids who learn empathy are less likely to bully others or be bystanders when they witness bullying, which builds courage. And, lastly, there is evidence that having these skills helps us to be more successful in our careers and leads to a happy and fulfilling life.

One of the ways we can teach empathy to our kids is through our actions. Kids model our behaviour; therefore, if they witness us showing empathy towards others, they will likely follow suit.

Demonstrating empathy towards our child is another teaching moment. We can do this by validating their feelings, sharing their emotions, “it’s tough, I get it, I’m here for you.” We must be mindful of what our kids need from us rather than what we think they need. If you’re unsure, then ask them. 

Volunteering at the food bank, reading to seniors, donating clothes, and anyway we can help others in the community is a great teaching opportunity.

There are many books and videos out there that talk about feelings. Reading stories about feelings is another great way for kids to learn empathy.

Teach your child how important it is to listen to others actively. We’re often distracted while having conversations with others. It isn’t easy to be empathetic when we are not truly listening. One of the ways we can encourage active listening is through having a conversation at home with family members. Have the speaker hold an object, the only one who can speak is whoever is holding the object. This will stop interruptions and help focus on each individual person.

Our world needs empathy now more than ever. Let’s begin with teaching our children this much-needed skill; they are our future leaders. I believe Empathy and compassion are crucial for the survival of humanity. 

Until next time…

How the Archangels Energetically Support Us

We all have a spiritual support system available to us. They want to work with us, send us divine guidance, and help us to be happy. Knowing that I’m never alone and have guides who watch over, help, protect, and teach me throughout my lifetime is a wonderful feeling.

For me, the Angels have always been my spiritual companions. I work with them daily and ask for guidance, help, protection, and much more. There are many different types of Angels - I work mainly with my guardian Angel and the Archangels. Each of the Archangels has a specific domain, so you can ask for the presence of their loving energy for particular areas.

I’ve worked a lot with Archangel Raphael throughout my life. She is the Angel in charge of healing. This includes all aspects – body, mind, and spirit. She has been there with me throughout the many health challenges I’ve faced and helped me to heal. She is also a good resource for boosting creativity. Each day before I write, I call on her to help me create work to help and inspire others. Most scriptures depict Raphael as male energy, but I feel more of a feminine energy.

Archangel Michael is, to me, “the big guy.” He is fiery and passionate - the Angel of love and protection. I call on him to surround my car with his protective energy whenever I drive, my kids or my husband drive. I call on him to protect the house and me when I'm alone throughout the night. (Yes, I’m a fraidy cat to be left alone overnight.) I also call on him to help me overcome my fears when starting a new venture. Just knowing he is there and providing me with the strength to try new things gives me a feeling of safety.

This is where Archangel Gabriel comes in; he governs our emotions. I call on him to help calm my doubts and boost my confidence. He has helped me when I’ve struggled with anxiety, fear, and self-doubt. I call on him every time I have a speaking engagement. Gabriel is also said to be the Archangel who watches over children. Every time I entered a classroom, I called on him to watch over the children and help them to stay on the right path.

We can call upon many other Archangels when we feel we need support. Each of the angels I discussed plays many more roles. Today I only touched on them briefly and spoke on the ones I work with closely.

I encourage all of you to get to know your spiritual support system. There are many out there just waiting for your call. Our Angels and guides love us and want the best for us, but they must be called upon to assist. 

Throughout my life, they have sent me signs, symbols, and numbers to guide me on the right path. When I’m pondering a decision, I’ll ask them to send me a sign as to whether it’s the right decision or not; they mostly always come through. Choose a symbol that resonates with you, ask for guidance, and be present enough to receive.

Give it a try! Next time you are struggling with a decision or need loving support, call on your Angels and guides, and know they will be right by your side. What have you got to lose?

Until next time…call upon your Angels

Fear of Being Judged

Why do we worry so much about what others think? I know this is part of being human, and it’s not always bad. We crave acceptance from others; we want our families to be proud of us and our children to respect and admire us. It’s safe to say that fear of being judged by others is very common. We all want to be loved and respected for who we are. But, when the fear of others' judgement starts hindering our day-to-day life, causing us to miss opportunities, it becomes a problem.

One of the biggest obstacles that I’ve had to overcome throughout my life is this exact thing – the fear of being judged. It has prevented me from many things throughout my life: trying new things, public speaking, workshops, conferences, teaching, and the list goes on.

I’ve learned throughout the years that life begins when we stop pleasing the audience. I have a certain set of skills that I want to share with others; all I can do is present them. Some will like it, and some won’t - but this should not affect my self-confidence or self-esteem. The truth is I can’t change what other people think of me, so why waste energy trying? I must be true to myself to achieve my purpose.

It’s also important to stop judging ourselves. Easier said than done, I know. It’s impossible to be 100% confident all the time - we all experience fear and self-doubt. But what we can do is be mindful of that inner critic and instead focus on our positive attributes and all the people we’ll be helping.

I've had to push through this fear because my passion is providing wellness tools to others. Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. I’ve said no to many opportunities because I was terrified of speaking to large groups of people. Now I realize that pushing through has helped me overcome the fear. By exposing ourselves to fearful situations, we can overcome the fear. I’m not saying that I no longer get nervous. My heart still races when I start. I might even sweat a little, but it’s much easier than when I first started.

Cultivating positivity is another technique we can use. Writing affirmations has helped me to restore self-confidence and my self-worth. Recognizing our unique qualities and skills makes us better equipped to remain unscathed from external judgment. When I’m confident in myself, my abilities, and my knowledge, I’m more likely to follow the advice that “other people’s opinions are none of my business.” 

Use your affirmations to solidify your belief that you know what you’re doing and can succeed.

I also like to get it over with. I’ve found that the anxiety I feel before and during the speech dissipates as soon as the speech ends. Therefore, I often volunteer to go first. This way I’ll feel anxious for the shortest time possible.

In the end, I just had to start saying yes. This way, I couldn’t back out, and I’ve found that it’s never as scary as I think it will be. Mostly, the people who attend are willing and excited to be there. They know what you will be speaking about and are genuinely interested. And if I stumble on the way up or forget what I was talking about, that’s ok! I can laugh at myself and continue. If we perform confidently and trust in our abilities, our audience will too!

We will never regret the things we tried, only the things that we didn’t!

Until next time…push through the fear, what’s on the other side is sweet freedom!

Happy thoughts – Happy life

I know that’s not quite how the saying goes, but ‘happy wife – happy life’ can be a misleading ….my statement is not! 

What I do know is that the quality of our life is largely dependent on our thought patterns. Negative vs positive thoughts impact all areas of our lives, including our physical body, mental health, and emotional well-being. It goes like this: we have good-feeling thoughts or bad-feeling thoughts. If we want to know what’s percolating in our minds, just check in with how we feel. 

This sounds simple enough, but it’s really not. It takes practice and consistency to become the master of our thoughts. We must be mindful of our thoughts, and this can be difficult because most of us are too busy to be diligent in this process. However, we can start with a quick check-in throughout the day to monitor our thoughts and see where they are. Then, when we identify that we’re having negative thoughts, it’s time to act and tell them to take a hike!

What are some ways that we can do this? 

One of the ways to improve negative thoughts is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness assists in helping us identify the destructive words we say to ourselves. It helps us become aware of our thinking process and more aware of our judgemental thoughts. We can practice being mindful by being aware of our senses when we’re walking, through meditation and different breathing exercises, and by practicing gratitude. All these things bring us to the present moment, which is what being mindful is all about. It’s paying attention on purpose.

Another technique for keeping happy thoughts is by using affirmations. We can employ affirmations to help reprogram negative thoughts. The affirmation should be one that you believe. A lot of us fear public speaking. We can get caught up in all the “what ifs,” and this can send us into a downward spiral, and our thoughts begin to spin out of control. One strategy I like to use (because this is a fear of mine) is simply saying the word stop and following up with an affirmation. 

Affirmations such as:

I am prepared

 I know my stuff

 I will help many people

 I am enough

 I got this

The butterflies in my tummy are a sign that I am ready

Lastly, use deep breaths to break negative thoughts. I use a technique I call centering. Take slow, deep breaths from your abdomen. Then, as you exhale, silently repeat to yourselves, “relax the muscles in my jaw, neck, and shoulders," and feel the muscles relax. Repeat this process five times and follow up with an affirmation. This is an excellent exercise because it can be done anytime, anywhere, throughout your day. 

There will be days that these strategies may not work to keep your thoughts happy and positive, and that’s okay. It’s impossible to be happy always, and I don’t think life is supposed to be that way. We must experience the one to know the other. I experience days when I just can’t break negative thoughts, but I keep trying. On those days, ride the waves and see what those emotions are trying to tell you, and never stop trying!

Until next time…happy happy joy joy

Back to School Survival Guide

How is everyone feeling with the kids going back to school? I know for some, it’s a relief, and for others, quite stressful - this includes both kids and adults.

As the end of August approaches, we tend to focus on our children’s back-to-school worries, anxiety, and stress, which is a problem for many kids - as we should. But, with the end of August approaching, this time of year also brings much stress and anxiety for parents and caregivers.

We must remember to look after ourselves first to be there mentally and physically for our children. They need our support, calmness, and presence to help them transition during this time.

This time of year can be equally stressful for parents. It can be quite expensive with back-to-school supplies, school fees, and childcare. Also, getting our children back into a regular “school time” routine brings many challenges after the sweet freedom of summer. Routine is very important to help ease children’s anxiety and our own. Make sure to have a plan that includes a routine; this will help all parties involved.

When it comes to food, many of us tend to indulge a little more in the summer with vacations, camping, festivals, etc. - this can affect our moods and energy levels. Be sure to incorporate healthy habits in your back-to-school plan. This includes a regular bedtime routine (sleep is so crucial for all of us), healthy foods, and being active. 

An excellent addition to your child’s bedtime routine is to read them a meditation as their bedtime story. It will help them to release the day’s worries and transition into a peaceful night’s sleep. It’s also beneficial for adults to listen to meditation at bedtime. There are audio versions for both kids and adults available on my website. My book also offers many different meditations for kids. These address a variety of issues such as negative self-talk, poor body image, low self-esteem, stress, and anxiety. 

If you find that your kids are struggling, we can also introduce different coping tools. Journalling is one of my favorites. It helps us to identify our emotions and feelings and work through them. Another tool is using different breathing techniques, which is wonderful when we’re feeling overwhelmed. Lastly, letting them be creative through some sort of art form is an excellent outlet for stress and anxiety.

Be aware of how your children are feeling. It’s helpful to do a check-in each day, asking them how they are feeling - be mindful of not interrupting and consciously listening without any electronic devices in front of you. After listening, you can work together using problem-solving skills to work through any problems your child shares. We must give them the tools necessary to work through worries. You may want to remind them of how they’ve previously made it through difficult times.

The best thing we can do for children who are struggling is be there, listen intently, help them work through their problems, and provide them with coping tools. 

For all you “grown-ups” out there, surround yourself with people who support, encourage, and are there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. Raising children is the most challenging job in the world, and we can’t do it alone. If you're feeling overwhelmed, there’s no shame in asking for help or support.

Until next time…support one another

The Gift of Gratitude

Gratitude…it’s the buzzword of the moment. How do you define gratitude? For me, gratitude is a positive emotion. It’s that warm feeling you get inside when you show kindness to others.

When we talk about being grateful for things, it can’t just be words. You must feel that warm feeling and sit in it. This is the only way that being grateful can change your life. 

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and our children is gratitude. It can take us from worry or fear to a peaceful, safe feeling. It’s the one tool that’s accessible every day. Taking a few moments to focus on all you have, rather than complaining about what you don’t have, is one of the simplest ways to improve your satisfaction with life.

How can we gift gratitude to others? With children, it’s important to remember that they emulate our behaviour. Therefore, not only remembering to thank our children when they show kindness or help us around the house, but also lead by example by reminding them how grateful we are that they are in our lives.

We must model gratitude for small things, such as breathing and greeting the sunrise. Show them how lucky we are to have a job to go to every day, have food on the table, or be in nature. Gratitude is not only about being grateful for material things; those things will come and go. We must be grateful for this moment, whatever it is.

When we show gratitude to family, friends, or work colleagues, it helps to build connections. Saying thank you and showing appreciation helps build healthy relationships. When we thank people, they are more likely to seek an ongoing relationship. But most importantly, it makes people feel good, and who doesn’t want to make someone’s day a little brighter?

What I’ve witnessed is gratitude improves our physical health. When I teach my adult classes and have them practice it consistently for six weeks, they see fewer aches and pains and report feeling happier, less negative, and healthier overall. In a couple of minutes of feeling grateful, our heart rate slows down, which tremendously impacts our nervous system. Now who doesn’t want to feel healthier?

What about giving the gift of gratitude to ourselves? We can thank our bodies for getting us where we need to go, our eyes for letting us watch our children grow, our ears for hearing music, our bodies for giving birth, and so on. We need to be as gentle and compassionate with ourselves as we are with others.

Gratitude can change our lives if we make it a consistent part of our day. Before our feet even hit the floor in the morning, we can say five things we’re grateful for, starting with waking up. We can list one thing we’re each grateful for as we sit at the dinner table. Make gratitude part of your child’s bedtime routine, get a gratitude journal, and have a gratitude jar. There are many ways to practice gratitude as a family. 

I’d like to end with one of my favourite quotes by Eckhart Tolle:

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”

Until next time…Thank you

Summertime Blues

As July wraps up, I’ve found myself in somewhat of a funk these past few days. I’m unsure why - I have nothing to be sad about. I just returned from a wonderful holiday filled with love, sunshine, family, and nature – all the things that bring me joy. I’ve come to understand throughout my life that when these “black dog days” come, I must ride the wave, feel the emotions, and know that this too shall pass.

I try to live my life in the present moment. When I do this, I experience less stress and more happiness. Of course, it’s impossible to be “present” all the time. But now, I’m mindful of when I’m not living presently. Then it’s up to me to use the tools I have to bring myself back to the moment, this includes practicing gratitude, breathwork, and meditation. 

Here’s an example of how our happiness can be impacted when not living in the present - I found myself thinking about where the summer has gone. It’s the end of July, which means it’s half over. September will be here before we know it, and with that comes the cold and snow which I’m not a fan of! Yes, I’m aware that this is contributing to my blues, and I know that I should be in the here and now, but sometimes that’s easier said than done, as those who struggle with this same kind of thing may know. 

Although summertime is a time for relaxation, fun, and freedom from work or school for some, it can also trigger some forms of depression because of the sudden change. The disruption in our daily routine and sleep can impact our moods, energy, and mental health. For some, having a routine is vital for preventing depression.

Some of the things we can do to cope with the summertime blues is to stick to a routine, make sleep a priority, get enough exercise, stay hydrated, and meditate so you create a space to feel your emotions. It’s so important to be mindful of what’s happening inside you.

Another thing that I’ve just recently discovered being a new pet mama is how amazing animals are for lifting our mood. Watching him play, playing with him, snuggling him, and feeling his unconditional love instantly brightens my day. I completely understand the term “therapy dog” now.

The last thing I encourage you to do if you are experiencing the blues this summer is get creative! I can’t express how much better I feel as I end this week’s blog. Apparently, I’ve been missing my writing while I’ve been away on holiday. Get off the couch and do some gardening, cooking, dancing, painting, or singing if you, too, are feeling in a funk. It’s an excellent practice for being present and releasing emotions that no longer serve you! Trust me, I know it works! How do you choose to express yourself creatively?

To all of you, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for lifting me out of my funk! I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my writing in a kind and safe place.

Until next time…much love

Disconnect to Connect

I was fortunate enough this past weekend to camp in a place without cell coverage. We were totally off the grid for three glorious days! It reminded me again of the importance of “unhooking” occasionally to reconnect to our soul.

I’m very fortunate to live in a place that’s a quick half-hour drive to the majestic Rockies. Although I’ve been there many times and have given them the respect and love they deserve, this was my first time out of coverage. Let me tell you, this was a whole new serene experience.

I didn’t have my eyes glued to a screen - I could connect to the trees, mountains, and water on a much deeper level, and with this came a deep sense of peace and tranquility— a calm I hadn’t experienced for quite some time. Not even the grizzly bear that walked through our campsite got me revved up! That says a lot because I’m petrified of bears!

I also connected with my husband on a much deeper level. Because of his work he is on his phone 24/7. This was an opportunity for us to focus all our attention on each other (whether we wanted it or not); that is when my puppy wasn’t chasing birds and squirrels! Omg, he’s so adorable! My puppy, not my husband! Although my husband’s pretty adorable too! Haha

 Unplugging from work and social media gives us time to focus on the good in our lives, connect with our partners, and compose our thoughts. We’re able to notice our surroundings and appreciate everything in our lives. It gives us time to be grateful, and practicing gratitude greatly impacts our mental and emotional health!

Disconnecting allows us to enjoy the very moment we’re in. We can focus on family, friends, and ourselves. Most importantly, we avoid burnout, a growing concern in our country. I just read a stat that said 55% of Canadians have suffered burnout.

I arrived home feeling energized and inspired by a new flow of creative ideas. We can’t create if we don’t fill the bucket. We must create space in our minds so that inspiration and new ideas can flow, and then we must listen and pay attention. This is why we need to unhook daily.

 The beautiful lakes, watching my puppy swim, and hiking through the trees were exactly what this girl needed! It helped me reconnect with my inner child and gave me something to write about for this week’s blog. I think my well has been dry for a couple of months – shit happens. Creating art in any form requires us to find inspiration where we can. For me, this is nature! 

Until next time…make time to unhook 

Music For the Soul

Music has always been a huge part of my life! It's not that I'm musically gifted - I couldn’t carry a tune if I tried. In fact, I’ve been told on numerous occasions that I’m tone-deaf! Haha! Don’t worry; that doesn’t stop me. I belt it out in the car, shower, and all day at home, much to my family’s objection. 

On that note, a couple of times, my kids have heard a song I’ve sung their entire lives. After hearing the actual song, their exact question to me was, “That’s the song you’ve always sung? It doesn’t sound anything like it!” Lol!!

I sing because it brings me so much joy. I'm present when I’m singing (often at the top of my lungs). Being present is where the least amount of stress exists. Our stress typically comes from past thoughts or future “what if” thoughts. So, it’s crucial to engage in activities that bring us to the present moment; this is how we find balance. These activities may include cooking, gardening, dancing - expressing creativity in whatever way is best for you.

Music is magic. It doesn’t involve tricks; it’s pure and it’s real. During my life, I’ve watched the magic of music heal, move us, and communicate - all these incredible things. I'm sure you can all relate to hearing a song that triggers us emotionally, returning us to painful or joyful moments.

Music soothes our souls. When we’re down, we can use our favourite music to increase our energy levels and forget about our troubles for a little while. There are truly healing components to sound. We connect to the lyrics, and if we write music, it’s a wonderful way to express our emotions. So, put on your favourite song, sing, dance around the living room for a while, be playful, and release the day’s worries!

Through my meditation practice and teaching others, I found that using peaceful, relaxing music in the background can help us focus our attention. This is one of the essential aspects of meditation, and once it occurs, we feel more rested. See, music is magical if it helps us feel more rested! Everyone I talk to these days is tired. 

 It’s so important to engage in activities that bring us joy, whatever that may be. All of us are so busy with life that we forget to play. Make play a priority in your life no matter your age. Take at least 15 minutes daily and connect with your inner child through play. I love this anonymous quote:

Remember her?

She is still there…inside you…waiting

Let’s go get her

Until next time…sing loudly, proudly, and find that little one inside of you!

Building confidence in Kids

Raising children is the most challenging job in the world. I think it’s even more difficult in today’s day and age with all the different social media platforms that exist. Even as adults, we can easily start comparing ourselves to others that seem happier, wealthier, more successful, and even more beautiful. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for kids who are just starting to figure out who they are and how they fit into this messy world. 

If we did something embarrassing when we were in grade 8, everyone would laugh, and it was awful, but after a few weeks, everyone moved on. Now if kids do something embarrassing, it could easily be caught on video or Snapchat and shared for months - you can’t escape it. Social media can significantly impact our children’s sense of self-worth and self-confidence.

I’ve worked with kids of all ages for over 20 years. In the latter years, I have noticed more kids suffering from lower self-esteem and self-confidence. It’s also true that some kids naturally have more confidence than others, and we can’t really pinpoint why this is. What I do know is that there are certain things we can teach them to help build their confidence.

The first and most important thing is accepting them exactly as they are. They may not be the musician, hockey player, or a ball player we hoped for. It’s important to remember that maybe that was our dream, not theirs. Every child is unique; that’s their superpower. Our job is to support, accept, and help them to unravel their unique talents. 

We should always be mindful of our own self-talk. If we want our children to have positive self-talk, then that’s what we must model. Our kids watch and look up to us; how they think about themselves will depend on how we talk about ourselves. Teach them the power of affirmations!

We must give them a safe environment to talk about their feelings. Let them know how important it is to feel and express these feelings and emotions rather than keep them inside. Then, consciously listen and validate those feelings. We must be allowed to feel to heal!

It’s important to be understanding of their mistakes. Let them know that mistakes are how we learn and grow. They are stepping stones to success! We can even share with them some of the mistakes we have made. 

As I said earlier, children model our behaviour. So, if we treat them with kindness and respect, there’s a good chance they’ll treat themselves with that same kindness and respect.

Lastly, we always want to praise our kids’ efforts and accomplishments. Let them know you’re proud of them for how hard they worked or how much effort they put in rather than how high their marks were or how many goals they scored.

Building a child’s confidence can be done! We must do our jobs as parents and nurture respect, accept, validate, and be mindful of our self-talk for our precious little ones.

Lastly, the most important thing we can do is consciously listen to our kids. This means putting down our devices and giving them our undivided attention. This alone will build confidence because they’ll feel important to you because you put down your phone!

Life is Better with a Puppy

OMG!!! Here I am, with my 4-month puppy check-in. He’ll be 6 months old this week and I really can’t remember what life was like before him. 

In the 4 short months he’s been with us he has caused us physical pain with those sharp puppy teeth, emotional pain with a trip to the doggy hospital, pure fear from his tendency to run away, frustration with potty training, stolen our hearts, and awoken us to life again. Oh, the joy he has brought us! Not to mention there have been more arguments between my husband and I. Apparently, there’s a double standard when it comes to him! It has been a roller coaster of emotions! 

In the past 5 minutes I’ve been writing this, he has gotten into my plant, eaten the dirt, ripped my post-its out of my files, tried eating my files, then wanders over for a kiss continuing to push his nose into my legs because I’m ignoring him. This poor puppy is so neglected! 

It once took me a few hours to write a blog, but it now takes much longer. There are pee breaks, play breaks, exercise, and let’s not forget about the snuggle breaks. It’s safe to say that having a new puppy is exactly like having a new baby. I must get things done when he’s sleeping because he requires my undivided attention when he’s awake. Can you say spoiled? And no, I can’t kick him outside because we don’t have a fenced-in backyard and I would miss him too much! Ha.

Now I think you should know a little about this guy’s personality. He’s a stubborn little fucker, with a mind of his own, but that’s the only shadow of his personality. He’s incredibly smart - it’s part of the breed. His love for life and people has taught me to slow down and see everything in a new light. He’s curious about everything and will sit for hours taking everything in. He’s gentle, loving, and loves everything and everyone. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all like dogs and saw the world without judgment, loving unconditionally? The world would be a nicer place. 

When my husband is out of town, he’s in a hyper-alert state in protection mode. I’m pretty sure he would lick anyone to death if they tried to come in the house, but he does let me know that I didn’t close the garage door, alert me of any unfamiliar noises, or if anything is outside. 

My walks, hiking, and travelling have become so much more enjoyable. He helps me to be present, see, hear, and smell everything around me. Ok, maybe the 8-hour drive home at Easter wasn’t too pleasant. He cried and barked the entire way – yes, 8 long hours! He’s getting better though. I’m beyond excited to camp this summer with this little guy! Can’t wait until he sees his first squirrel. 

To all of you animal lovers out there, why didn’t you tell me what this was like? I can’t believe it took me this long to get a dog! I truly believe they are Angels sent to us when we need them the most. He has disrupted our quiet, easy lives and I might say it was a disruption much-needed. We have a new zest for life, spend so much more time outdoors and I do believe he will become our best friend. My husband and I are both so in love with him! And no, he has not caused a divorce yet! Ha

My sweet baby showers me with the love I was unaware I needed! I’ll be forever grateful to him! He is truly an Angel on this earth!

Until next time…love your fur babies.

How Sound Can Be Used as Therapy

I use sounds such as crickets chirping, birds singing, water flowing, rain falling, and music to help me be present with deep reflection, which in turn helps to improve my health and well-being. Whether I am practicing meditation, going over my breathing exercises, or doing chores around the house, the key here is finding which sounds resonates with you.

Music has always brought me back to the present moment, which is where we experience the least amount of stress. I find that when I’m driving and listening to my favourite tunes, I feel very balanced and peaceful. Instead of having the news or a TV program in the background as you’re making supper or doing chores, try some relaxing soothing music and witness how whatever you are doing becomes more enjoyable. 

When I’m in this space, I find inspiration which leads to my greatest creative ideas. We must make room for these ideas to come. When our minds are thinking about other things it leaves no room for clarity, imagination, or creativity. The average person has 10,000 thoughts per day - with all this noise it’s difficult to gain creative ideas. It’s no wonder the average person is stressed.

Studies have reported that music therapy or sound healing has benefits such as reduced stress, fewer mood swings, lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol, improved sleep, and better pain management. This is only the physical benefits; our mental and emotional health also improves.

There are professionals that specialize in sound healing. It’s a holistic practice that allows you to sink into a deep state of meditation using therapeutic-grade instruments. This allows us to bathe in the vibrations, gently guiding our body into a state of balance.

Although I’m not trained in this area, if this is something that interests you, you could seek out professionals in your area. There are many YouTube videos that use crystal bowls and singing bowls during meditation. You might want to check out these videos to see if this is beneficial to you. It’s all about changing our energy frequency.

Another great wellness technique that I like to do first thing in the morning before I’m out of bed, is to put on some relaxing, peaceful music and just breathe. If you only have 5 minutes this will suffice. If you have longer, try for 10 or 15 minutes. When you’re finished, grab your journal and write down everything that came to you. It doesn’t matter what it is, write down everything from petty to profound. It’s a wonderful way to start the day on a positive note, leaving all your baggage on the page. It allows you to get your ideas, dreams, and inspiration down in writing. When we can see what we want to achieve in writing, it seems more attainable.

Lastly, on your next walk, be mindful of the sounds all around you. If you do this, you are present, and this also is a form of meditation. Just having a quiet mind for a few minutes every day is a form of therapy!

Until next time…