We Teach Kids about Everything; Except Themselves. How Do We Do this?

“We Teach Kids about Everything; Except Themselves”

As someone who has worked with kids both in and out of the school system for over 20 years, I can assure you that there has never been a truer statement. Not because parents don’t want to teach their kids these skills, it’s more likely that (even as parents) we never learned the skills ourselves.

From the moment our kids are born, we begin teaching.

We teach them how to count. How to zip their coats. How to share toys and say “please.” We teach them letters, colours, routines, and safety rules.

But something quietly gets missed - not out of neglect, but because most of us were never educated on the tools and strategies needed to go inside and learn about ourselves.

We spend so much time helping kids navigate the world around them, that we forget to guide them through the world inside of them – their emotions, their self-talk, their inner stories, and the way they make sense of who they are.

And yet, that inner world is where confidence, resilience, and emotional wellbeing are built.

Kids need more than skills. They need self-understanding.

A child who knows how to tie their shoes is capable. A child who knows how to understand their feelings is powerful.

When children learn:

-          What their emotions feel like

-          Why their thoughts matter

-          How self-talk shapes their confidence

-          How to respond to challenges with compassion, instead of criticism

They don’t just get through life; they grow through life.

They begin to see mistakes as learning. They start speaking to themselves with kindness. They build resilience not by avoiding big feelings, but by knowing they can handle them.

This is how self-esteem is formed – quietly, slowly, in everyday moments of emotional understanding.

The problem isn’t that parents don’t want to teach this. We do.

We care deeply about raising strong, confident kids. The reality is most of us simply weren’t shown how to talk about emotions or inner thoughts growing up. Many of us are learning these tools for the very first time right alongside our children - and that’s okay.

There’s something beautifully healing about teaching kids what we are still learning ourselves. I always say, “kids are our greatest teachers!”

Where do we begin?

We begin small, gently, and consistently.

-          Name feelings instead of judging them

-          Let kids know that big emotions are safe to feel

-          Model kind self-talk out loud

-          Ask curious questions instead of rushing to solutions

-          Normalize mistakes as part of learning

Every time we do this, we are teaching our kids who they are on the inside, not just how they act on the outside.

When children understand themselves, everything else becomes easier.

They become more confident working through challenges. They become more compassionate with friends and family. They become more resilient when life feels overwhelming.

Because a child who knows themselves, their feelings, their worth, their strengths, grows up believing:

“I am enough.”

“I am capable.”

“I can handle what comes my way.”

And that belief is something they will carry long after they outgrow our laps.

Until next time…