Spooky season is quickly approaching!
And with it comes heightened emotions for our kids… and sometimes, even us!
I'll be honest, Halloween has never been my favourite time of year. Maybe that has something to do with spending 25 years working in schools and experiencing the excitement, chaos, costumes, and sugar highs firsthand!
Oh yeah, definitely NOT the calmest time of the school year! Bring on the sugar! 😂
But here's something I've learned over the years: Halloween isn't exciting for every child.
For some, it's magical. For others, it's overwhelming, stressful, and even a little scary.
And you know what? That's okay.
When Halloween Feels Like Too Much
Think about Halloween through the eyes of a child who struggles with anxiety or overstimulation.
They're expected to wear a costume that might feel tight, itchy, or uncomfortable. Their face might be partially covered, making it harder to see or breathe comfortably. They're surrounded by loud noises, flashing lights, scary decorations, and unfamiliar faces.
And then we ask them to walk up to strangers' doors and ask for candy!
When you think about it that way, I can understand why some kids might find Halloween overwhelming. I think I would, too!
Here's what I want parents to remember: Your child's comfort matters more than any Halloween tradition.
We don't need to force children into experiences they're not emotionally ready for.
5 Ways to Make Halloween Less Overwhelming
1. Give them choices.
Let your child choose a costume they feel comfortable wearing. Maybe that's their favourite hoodie and a fun hat! There's no rule that says Halloween costumes need to be elaborate.
2. Try a different trick-or-treating experience.
If going door-to-door feels overwhelming, consider:
· Trick-or-treating at a local mall or community event.
· Visiting just two or three familiar neighbours.
· Having a Halloween treasure hunt at home.
· Hosting a small Halloween movie and treat night.
· Setting up a mini trick-or-treat experience with family members.
3. Practise before Halloween night.
Walk through what trick-or-treating might look like. Practise knocking on a door, saying "trick or treat," and what to do if something feels scary. Sometimes knowing what to expect can make a big difference.
4. Create an exit plan.
Tell your child, "If it starts feeling like too much, we can take a break or head home."
Knowing they have a choice can help children feel safer and more confident.
5. Don't compare their experience to anyone else's.
Your neighbour's child might visit 50 houses while yours only wants to visit three.
Both children can have a successful Halloween.
Remember, confidence isn't built by forcing children through fear. It's built by helping them feel safe enough to take small, brave steps.
What if Your Child Doesn’t Want to Dress up at School?
Having worked in schools for 25 years, I know how exciting Halloween can be in the classroom.
But I also know that not every child enjoys costume parades, classroom parties, or being surrounded by spooky decorations.
If your child says they don't want to go to school because of Halloween activities, start by getting curious rather than trying to convince them.
Ask:
"Is there something about Halloween at school that's making you uncomfortable?"
"Is it the costumes, the noise, or something else?"
"What would help you feel more comfortable?"
Reach out to their teacher and explore options together.
Perhaps your child can wear regular clothes, skip the costume parade, take a quiet break, or participate in a different activity.
If they're anxious, help them make a manageable plan rather than automatically avoiding the entire day.
The goal isn't to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling. It's to help children feel supported as they learn to manage those feelings.
Monthly Family Wellness Activity: The Halloween Comfort Plan
This month, instead of focusing only on costumes and candy, let's focus on emotional awareness and connection.
Sit down as a family before Halloween and ask everyone to share three things:
1. Something I'm excited about:
"What is one thing you're looking forward to this Halloween?"
2. Something that might feel uncomfortable:
"Is there anything about Halloween that makes you nervous, worried, or overwhelmed?"
3. Something that would help me feel better:
"What could we do if things start feeling like too much?"
Parents, you participate too!
Maybe you're excited to see the kids dressed up but overwhelmed by the busy evening.
By sharing our feelings, we're showing our children that adults experience big emotions, too.
Once everyone has shared, create a simple family plan that includes one thing you're excited to do, one way to make the evening more comfortable, and a signal anyone can use when they need a break.
And if those big feelings show up on Halloween night, try a little Bubble Breathing together.
Take a slow breath in, imagine blowing a big, beautiful bubble, and gently breathe out.
Repeat a few times.
Sometimes, all we need is a moment to reset.
A Final Thought
Halloween doesn't have to look the same for every family.
Some children will run excitedly from house to house. Others might prefer a quiet evening at home.
Some parents will go all out. Others will be doing their best just to get through the day.
And all of that is okay.
The most important thing isn't creating the perfect Halloween. It's creating an experience where your child feels safe, supported, and understood.
Because long after the candy is gone and the costumes are put away, it's those feelings of connection that matter most.
Wishing you and your family a little more calm and a lot less chaos this spooky season!
Wendy Demer
Author | Child Wellness Educator